Vickie and I know a couple of friends who’ve had kids in the last couple of months. We’ve been struck by how different our experience was from a “typical” baby experience. Strangely, there were some difficult circumstances that we had to endure that made Katie a great baby to care for.
At only 2 days old Katie was rushed to Yale. For the next 3 weeks she lay in an adult bed, unclothed. When we got her home, she wasn’t used to being held…or swaddled. While we think she really liked both, she didn’t need them. She was so content all of the time, and I can’t help but feel that her sense of satisfaction was a function of her difficult stay in the hospital. Being free to move, unincumbered, with the distinct possibility of being held and cared for made her so happy.
So there you have it- HLHS helped make Katie so peaceful. Who knew that there’d be an upside. It might be a stretch, but it’s a truthful spin on a heinous situation. I suppose we have to see the positive in our situation…I think fellow HLHS parents might chuckle, others will just continue to think I’m a little crazy- hahaha.
April 27, 2009 at 9:50 pm
Chuckle and think you’re crazy…sometimes it’s one in the same! And sometimes you chuckle at yourself and think, “I must be crazy!” Who knows how these thoughts and rationalizations pop into our heads! I do, however, remember the fear I had that my baby wouldn’t have an attachment to me because I didn’t get that immediate bonding time…I’d like to talk to those researchers who came up with attachment and bonding assumptions! I do think you’re right about the HLHS child’s coping stategies…circumstances force them to learn to cope and deal with extreme issues. If only someone gave us stategies for coping with the rollercoaster of parenting.
Continued prayers…for upsides and craziness!
April 27, 2009 at 10:00 pm
I don’t think your crazy!!!
(if I did, it would mean that I am crazy too..LOL)
April 28, 2009 at 11:50 am
Older and Wiser, I’m not sure about that? Guess I have earned my grey hair, only a parent could understand what you say, and a HLHS family understands it completely. Thinking of you and your family, Dawn’s Mom
April 29, 2009 at 1:19 pm
Seeing the positive in difficult situations is just one of the things I admire about the two of you!! Always in my thoughts, Denise
April 30, 2009 at 9:58 am
It’s soooo true!!! In the 2 weeks we had Rudy home, he fussed about a dirty diaper and an empty tummy but he never once fussed to be held. He was content to sit in his bouncey chair and watch all the goings on of his older siblings. Sweetness!! Thinking of you two and Katie today.
April 30, 2009 at 5:46 pm
always finding the light in the darkness… it is so inspiring to know both of you! always in my heart!
May 1, 2009 at 8:08 pm
Here a fellow HLHS parent, I’ve responded to one of your posts before.
And yes, I chuckle as I recognise what you are saying. It is a very different start to life and a very different start to parenthood, that’s a fact. As soon as we could we held Luca as often and as long as we could. Maybe she was held more by us and by all the people who cared for her than any other baby born healthy. She turned out to be the most social baby. And that’s not being biased. I just can’t count the times we got stopped in the street by total strangers making remarks to that extent.
Obviously we don’t know what she would have been like if she had been born with a healthy heart but the way she was was everything I hoped for and more. So happy and trusting in her little life.
There is something so special about these little people and it is such a shame they had to leave us so early.
May 2, 2009 at 7:56 am
As I continue to pray for Rudy and Jack, want you to know: you , your family and Katie continue to be in our thoughts and prayers, Dawn’s Mom